Nerd in the Country: In Which I Meet Chris Hardwick and Make Everyone with Eyes Feel Awkward

In my last Nerd in the Country post, I teased the fact that I was going to tell you the story of when I met Matt Mira, Jonah Ray and Chris Hardwick. Needless to say, anyone that saw the interaction immediately wanted to throw themselves into an oncoming horde of zombies (there was a zombie themed pub crawl that day) including my wife and myself, after the fact. Last October, the Nerdist Podcast popped into Portland to do a live show. If you’re a Nerdist fan, it was the episode in which a guy asked his lady to marry him at the end of the show, and she said yes! That guy was my buddy, Mike! I have a video of the whole thing and you can watch it below.

[youtube http://youtu.be/bqNpWfwjU7A]

L2R: Me, Jonah Ray (hugging my head), Chris Hardwick and Matt Mira!

Back on topic…
At the time, I was producing a heavy metal podcast. I had heard Jonah Ray make plenty of metal and hardcore references on the Nerdist Podcast, and I shot him an email to see if he would be willing to chat about metal, hardcore and music in general for my podcast and he, graciously, accepted my invitation. The podcast went out of production shortly after, having never published the chat. I still have it on my computer, but I am unsure what to do with it now. Anyway… Jonah was an AMAZINGLY nice person, and so was Matt Mira as he ended up popping in for a few minutes. I was star struck by the two of them, but was managing to not melt into a roiling puddle of fanboy. I guess meeting the two of them was my limit however, because, soon after, I met Chris Hardwick… #AllTheFail

Chris Hardwick and I at “The Nerdist Way” book signing at Powell’s Books in Portland, Oregon

“You didn’t just do that…”
Just so it is known, this is an unofficial request to Chris Hardwick himself that, the next time he’s in Oregon, I would actually like to recreate the following story on camera for my YouTube channel, assuming I haven’t scared you away from the state completely and that the restraining order has lapsed.

My wife, Jonah Ray and myself are standing in front of Ground Kontrol in downtown Portland, Oregon watching the zombie pub crawl and discussing Stephen Lindsay’s theory of whether or not Jesus was a zombie, we decided that he wasn’t based on Stephen’s insights from a previous conversation I had with him. It is important that I mention that I was wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt that says, “Christopher Eccleston is my Doctor”. As we are watching, Chris Hardwick rounds the corner and I make my way over to shake his hand and say greet him. The second he is in earshot, my brain goes completely blank! I tell him that I’m a huge fan and the following exchange occurs:

Chris Hardwick: “Thank you so much! Hey, nice shirt!”
Me: (While wearing, in hindsight, what seems like the creepiest grin ever) *awkward 4 second pause* “Yeah…” *another long pause*
Chris Hardwick: (Looking confused already; FUCK!) “It’s a controversial stance to take.”
Me: (Still grinning) *even longer pause* “Yeah…”Chris Hardwick: “Umm… It’s OK, I just think it’s a strong statement.
Me: “Yeah… Thanx!” *turn around; walk away*

I realize after I turn around that both my wife and Jonah Ray saw the entire thing. FUCK!
Chris Hardwick goes into Ground Kontrol, followed by Jonah and I am left in a steaming pile of nerdfail on the sidewalk. I look at Carol, my wife:

Carol: “Please tell me you didn’t just do that…”
Me: “That was WWAAYY bad, huh…”
Carol: “That was painful, for me!”Me: “FUCK! I know! Holy shit! How was I just that much of a tool?”
Carol: “I don’t know.”
Me: “FUCK ME!”

I’m not sure if I could describe the look on Carol’s face during this short convo, but you know that feeling you get when you see a commercial in which a middle-aged, white guy stands in front of his suburban home and says shit like “My homies” or calls his 9-year-old kid his “dogg”? Carol looked like she had just watched one of those commercials, and was disappointed that her husband was the star of it.

Reading back over this article, I feel the need to expound on a couple of things:

1) Carol wasn’t being a bitch, it was sympathetic in nature and there is no way that I can get that across in text except for what I’m doing now. And,
2) Chris Hardwick was so nice! In retrospect, the weird look on his face may have been sympathy, as well. I feel like everyone has gone hardcore nerd douche on someone, including him. I think he knew what I was going through and felt bad for me in the moment.

That is my confession of when I met Chris Hardwick and made a complete idiot of myself. I would like to know who you nerd out over, or would if you met them. Please leave your thoughts in the comments below or hit me up on Twitter or Google+! I beg that you don’t troll the shit out of me for being an #epicfail. Believe me, I know.

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About Alloy Matt

Happy Husband | Beardsman | Blogger | Dreamer | Wholigan | Drinker of Coffees | Tweeter of Hashtags | Gamer of Table Tops | Amature Astronomer | Fanboy of Apple

Posted on October 15, 2012, in Geek, Nerd, Nerd in the Country, Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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