The Pursuit of Happyness (I Know, it’s Spelled Wrong)
Today was a wonderful day! Spent a bunch of time with the in-laws for Father’s Day (I actually get along with mine) playing games, drinking beer and enjoying some BBQ. Then, I realized that the time I had been devoting to following my dreams and trying to become a successful blogger, podcaster and/or vlogger, is up. I need to find a job and fully commit to that job. I understood when I decided to make a go of it, that there was a huge risk that it wasn’t going to work out and that I would fall flat on my face. It’s time to put that aside.
I used to be able to commit myself to my various online projects, of which many have come and gone, full-time. Now I have to move on and continue doing them on a when I have time basis. I worked very hard to get my business off the ground, but it didn’t. I experimented with plenty of projects hoping that one (or the combined total of all) of them would lead to a living in a field that I love. None of them have. There are a few reasons for that, the greatest one being lack of interest. I seem to belong to a geographic community that doesn’t embrace people thinking outside the box and doing something original. Around here, I should have dropped out of high-school, been arrested on drug charges or 13 DUI’s, then found a woman who, for some reason, found that appealing, gave her 5 babies and settled down into a job and life that brought me no fulfillment or happiness ever. Well, at least that’s what a majority of the people around here seem to do.
People have this view of Oregon as being liberal and tech savvy, probably due to Portlandia, which is a horrible TV show on IFC. The problem is, that’s only in Portland. Other than Portland, this place is completely devoid of culture, curiosity and hope. #NothingButRednecksHere The majority of those people aren’t interested in podcasts or YouTube shows… most of them have to be told what those things are when I talk about them. Even if it’s a topic they’re interested in! I live in a community of “Why? People,” when I try very hard to surround myself with “Why Not? People.” I’ll explain the difference in case one of those redneck Facebook friends of mine just happened to stumble across this blog post and are now lost…
“Why? People” are people who, when hearing about a new project I want to start or work on (podcast, web series, etc.) their response is to ask “Why?” I’m not sure why that is, but I can assume that it is a fear based thing. They can’t seem to understand why a person would want to step outside their comfort zone and do something that no one else does. “Why Not? People”, like myself, my wife, some of her family (Kathy, Pauline and Mark) and a few select friends of mine (I’m looking at you Holly, Daigle, Amery, and Luanne) are people who hear me talking about starting work on a web-series and say, “Why Not? That seems like something that would fun and that you would be good at! I may not fully understand it, but if that’s what you want to do, you should do it!”
Most of my family (excluding my grandfather), some of my wife’s family and most of my friends will fall into one of two categories:
- They won’t read this post, so it won’t matter
- They will read this and their response will be something like, “See… That’s why you shouldn’t have done it. You’ve failed and now you’ve proven that we were right in the first place when we told you that no one cared and your voice didn’t matter.” Fuck these people, BTW.
Seriously… if you fall into the latter category, I don’t care who you are or how you came to see this. I’m not interested in being around you ever again and I sincerely hope horrible things happen to you. I have a “Why?” of my own for those people. Why do you feel it necessary to be such a horrible person that needs to shit on other people? Is it because you are one of the “Why? People” described above? Has your life lost all of its meaning because you made some bad decisions and things didn’t go as you planned, so now you’re stuck with your shitty existence of making yourself feel better by looking down on other people and judging them? I think it is… Those same people might argue that I’m the one that made shitty decisions for deciding to follow my dreams in the first place. To which I say, what was the cost? What did I lose from committing myself to hope for the last year and a half? I would say nothing. In fact, I have gained something that most people wish they could have but didn’t… I chased after what I wanted. I’m pretty proud of that. Most of those “Why? People” spent another year and a half in a shit job that they hate with, married to a person they despise and gave up on themselves. Yep… you sure told me so. Now go post another “Sometimes I hate my *insert family member and/or close friend here*!” or “My *significant other” is such a *expletive of your choosing*!” on Facebook and clog up the internet even more. Some of us work hard to create things while you are filling up servers with your drivel. Go fall off the planet and quit ruining everyone else’s good times!
I want to shit on the “Why? People” just a little more, since I’m here and have a chance. None of this is saying that I am giving up pursuit of those dreams. I will still continue to create things that I love and I know that there are some people that appreciate that. I just have to put it on the back burner for a bit.
With that I will leave you with a couple of my favorite quotes:
In this world, where even a good man can die screaming, there is no point in not trying to achieve every fucking dream that I have. -Kevin Smith
I’d rather hate myself for failing, than hate my life for never having tried. – Phil Labonte
Which type of person are you?